Friday, October 27, 2006

not the same lil rebel i used to be

i haven't blogged lately b/c the messy, mysterious lassie of yesteryear has grown considerably and is up to new, and much more reputable things. haps not nearly as exciting as falling off barstools- but much more fulfilling. though i do still worry about queefing in gym class while doiung hello dolly's (leg splits on your back) and dropping terds while droppin bombs.

soon i'll have a new blog, completely unrelated to this one- to express myself in new, and mature ways.

i'll email yall to tell you what it is. unless i don't know you. then yer fukked.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

i grant forgiveness

the drain company hath reimbursed me and apologized.

i am relieved and grateful.

now to sort out the floor retardation. when you can't sue the man who installed them b/c he disconnected his tele and the lumber co treats you like you have no clue you can actually sue them, it's hard to get ppl to take you seriously.

i will pee on them.

Monday, September 25, 2006

what to say?

dear blog:

i'm sorry i avoided you for so long. it isn't that i don't love you or don't want to be friends. it's just that i've been so busy. 2 of my bff were in town from the mother country for their wedding so there was mad partying and socializing, hen parties, before parties, after parties, and a group honeymoon on the cape. so many loved oned from out of town!!!! so much love!!! and i've been trying to be better about school work, and work is so so busy. i am playing my boss as well as me these days you know. and i'm rowing a lot. and i'm head over heels for the dreamiest guy and i like to pretend i live @ his house. except that my cat's probably home making voodoo dolls of me cuz she's mad that she lives alone in the tree house cuz i'm beyond smitten.

but blog, you are nicey and i'll try harder. but you know how it is- life gets in the way.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

bitch slap follow up

bathroom part 2. it ain't ovah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear ___________,

I am writing this letter as an accompaniment to my 9/06 condominium fees payment.

The check is for the fee ($242.50) minus expenses to date ($233.35 ) totaling $9.15. I will keep you abreast of the cabinet/baseboard issue and would be happy to discuss solutions with you.


I have yet to hear back from either of you regarding this matter, but hope to soon. (___, you may still be away.)

Please feel free to call me at ___or ___ (cell) or email me at ___.


Sincerely,

i hate you, drain doc-whore!!!!

picture me cursing my lil head off in a towel in the hall of my senior citizen dorm. it was UGLY.


Dear ________,


I am writing regarding a very disturbing and hindering occurrence that took place yesterday morning. Yesterday, Monday August 28 2006, I awoke about 8 a.m. to horrid and frightening noises coming from my bathroom. I opened the cabinet doors under my bath sink to see my pipes visibly shaking in tune with these wretched noises. I became immediately concerned and went into the hallway to see if any work was being performed. Workmen were outside a unit (the door next to 408- however, I’m unsure if it’s 409- where a woman named ___ resides) and when I asked if they were working on pipes or knew if anyone in 408 was, they replied negative. I told them why I was concerned and one man said there was probably air in the pipes. Knowing a bit about plumbing myself, I knew that this heinous sounds and movement was definitely not air in my pipes. I returned to my unit to find that black matter had began flowing from the P-trap. My alarm increased and I called ___ who paged ___, the maintenance man, for me. He called back very quickly and I explained the situation. He informed me that unit 301 was having drain clog issues and that the Drain doc-whore was working there. The noise and black matter were increasing so I raced down to 301 and knocked and rang the buzzer for several minutes. Receiving no reply, I called ___ back. He said he was at another site but would call Drain doc-whore, inform them of the issue, and head over in about an hour. I was far from content, especially given that I have just remodeled my entire bathroom, which cost upwards of $10,000. In tears, and feeling helpless, I figured I’d take a quick shower before ___ got there (b/c I had guests and wanted to go about our plans for their last day in town, if possible). While in the shower, I heard a wretched sound and looked out of the shower to find water gushing from the U-shaped pipe under my sink. The Drain doc-whore had broken right through and pierced the pipe!!! I called ___ in a panic, who informed me that the Drain doc-whore was actually in 408, not 301. I ran, in my towel, to 408 to tell them to stop immediately, to come look at what they had done to my bathroom, and to have someone take responsibility. I was very distraught, and not in the friendliest mood given the horrible circumstances. ___ showed up quickly when I told him a pipe had been pierced (I accidentally scared him b/c he thought I was referring to a main pipe). No one seemed to think this was a big deal. The fact that my bathroom was flooded and covered in black drudge, that my kitchen floor was flooded, that the bath mat, towels, items under my sink, etc were ruined- no one was very concerned. ___ was kind and helpful in leading the employees of Drain doc-whore in vacuuming up the water that hadn’t been soaked up by the 9 towels I used to stop it from flowing into my main room. ___ assured me that Drain doc-whore would clean up the mess and that the Condo Association would replace my damaged items.

The Drain doc-whore did a mediocre job of wiping up the water and sludge. After they left, I found more water under my cabinet- which is very hard to reach. While the liquid was mopped up, the floors were not cleaned. Strange germs from a neighbor’s sink remain on my bath and kitchen floors. My newly installed stone bath floor has black crud on it still that has dried in the cement in between the stones. My baseboard has stain marks. My bath sink cabinet has pieces dug out of the shelf from where Drain doc-whore used the tool to access 408’s sink (they did this to clear his sink after they’d realized they had ruined mine). There is another gauge in the cabinet from this as well. Additionally, some of my outlets now don’t work-even though I tripped the breaker.

So, while ___ was kind enough to assure me that the Association would replace my towels, bath mat, etc, I am concerned about the larger issues. I need a cleaning service to clean my bath and kitchen floors, my floor board painted or replaced, my bath cabinet replaced, and my breaker repaired. I also need to know that if anything goes wrong with my bath floor in the future regarding the moisture that was not removed from under the cabinet (I fear damage to 301’s ceiling) that I will not be liable for it.

___ kindly had ___, the plumber, come to my unit this morning to replace the pierced pipe. However, this is just the beginning of the repairs.

I spoke w/ Mr. ___ last night, to introduce myself less alarmingly. He was very kind and apologetic and said to send bills to the Drain doc-whore and to inform him if I had any problems. Please let me know if you wish for me to forward to letter to the Drain Doctor and Mr. ___ as well as yourselves.

Below please find a list of damaged items from this occurrence. I do not have receipts for any of the items but can obtain one for the cabinet. I’d be happy to price cleaners as well, unless you have one you prefer to use.

(lengthy list removed)

Please let me know the best way to go about resolving this. I prefer to have my floors cleaned ASAP as it is unnerving to have the leftovers of such an event in my home.

Please feel free to call me at __ or ___ or email me at ___.

Many thanks for your help and my apologies for the long, but necessary, letter.

Sincerely,

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

a closely cropped crap

Let me begin this story by saying i wasn't at my house. i was @ my b'd house. oops.

I took a poo this morning, and while it wasn't large, it was mighty (i ate icre cream last nt- nuf said?). I flushed but things started coming up instead of going down. I panicked. I raced on my bike to brooks- praying my bf would NOT come home b/c he forgot something, etc (he had just left for class).

i returned triumphant- w/ a plunger. sweaty, nervous and ready to plunge- but it had all gone down. Gone!!! Did tabby fix it?

I was in a panic that I'd crapped all over his man town on my last day there!!!!

Friday, August 18, 2006

wipe it, wipe it good.

ok, so i find blogging a lil trite lately- cuz i have nothing dramatic to say.
but then there's this.

the locker room in my boathouse has these individually packaged girly wipes for your bits and i took one to try cuz i thouhgt it was novel. around the same time i got my skirt caught in my bike bits and needed to buy shout wipes for the grease stain.

so, i'm in the loo and there's no tp, so i decide to reach into my bookbag and try the girly wipe. i use it, feel refreshed and move on w/ my day.

later on i'm looking through my bag for something and happen upon said packaged girly wipe. but no shout wipe....

need i say more? i Shout-ed my vagine. ewwww... stain lifter.

Monday, August 07, 2006

ewww w/ a capital EWWWW

THE WOMEN'S RESTROOM @ THIS FINE INSTITUTION HAS HIT AN ALL TOME LOW W/ FRECAL MATTER RESTING ATOP AS NEST OF TOILET PAPER IN A TOILET BOWL.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

PPL ARE SO FECKIN GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!